London calling

All of my biggest life decisions were laid out for me before I even came to recognize how.

They each felt a bit nonsensical and intuition-driven, limited to recency and motivated by whim.

Yet, with reflection, I can recall the origins of desire; each seed planted before I learned how to nurture them.

When I went to university to study political science, it went as far back as attending protests against the War in Afghanistan with my mom as a small child sitting in a toy wagon, marching in pride parades with my church, and tagging along with my parents when they caucused.

For my current role in product management, it started with giving second opinions on my friends’ startup ideas. I would look at their products, raise comments on what felt sticky, and note what I thought was missing or unattractive compared to competition.

After joining a student-run organization for entrepreneurship, I remembered how I used to set up fake cinemas, spas, and restaurants in my house and set prices for the goods and services which I charged my sisters for—my only and favorite customers.

With my move to Amsterdam, it was explicit in my journal entries from when I was 15. I wrote about how I saw myself traveling the world, not waiting to live my life, and having friends from all over the world.

“I’m talking about moving to a country overseas like the Netherlands. I always imagine what it would be like moving to a foreign place and being able to start all over. To be a brand new person. To think differently. To not only be able to explore a new part of the world, but live there as well. I’d give up everything to have that.”

— Excerpt from journal entry dated 21 June 2017

I booked a trip to London one month ago. I did it after my onboarding for an international community of women in tech, where I noticed just how many of them were based in London. The itch came upon immediately.

A few days later, I was looking at flights, having convinced myself that London would be my next big move after Lisbon (whenever that may be). But I doubted myself. Was I doing it out of impulse? Boredom? Or was it a genuine aspiration?

I decided to trust my intuition and made the booking. It could only hurt my bank account, after all, and in any case, I knew I would make the most of my time there.

The idea was to start building a network in the city so that when the time comes, I have a community to support my endeavors. Having MOXIE as a platform, I reached out via Slack to the London members and asked who would want to co-organize a community meetup.

It was there that I connected with Maggie Blackburn, who herself would be visiting London from New York for one month with the intention of moving to the UK on a Global Talent visa.

On the work front, I asked my manager for his blessing to go, and received permission from the London office to work from there for the duration of my visit.

I landed at Stansted bright and early at 8:50 AM last Thursday, after an even earlier departure at 5:55 AM from Lisbon, and immediately headed for the office. Having met a London intern in Lisbon the week prior, I had an easy in on getting to meet some other interns.

That afternoon, I headed to the seaside just an hour south of London. Dips into the icy sea closed out my evening and commenced my morning with refreshed nerves and a calm mind.

I got back into the city late Friday evening and took my Saturday at a relaxed pace before having dinner and seeing Phantom of the Opera on West End with my former roommate’s friend, who became a natural friend by extension.

Not bothering to cram into a pub after the theater to watch England play Norway in the World Cup, I opted for a home viewing where I could freely drift in and out of sleep on the sofa during the 30 minutes of overtime.

On Sunday morning, Maggie and I met at the Mediterranean restaurant in Victoria that we picked out for our brunch meetup. 10 others trickled in slowly but surely, and a smaller group of us followed our meal with a walk through St. James’s park.

The rest of my trip consisted of being at the office, as well as a picnic in Finsbury Park with my friend, Marissa, who I first met back home in Iowa when we were working the same Old Navy retail job.

Marissa and I both moved abroad around the same time, and given how rare it is for people from Iowa to leave the country, let alone indefinitely, I felt seen in our conversations.

That sense of validation—of having my unconventional path understood by someone who knew where I started—shifted my doubt into a deeper curiosity for the source of my latest plan.

Seeking some kind of proof, I searched through old text conversations with close friends on post-graduation plans.

I’d love to find a job in Europe
London, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Lisbon

It was during my previous visits to London and envisioning myself commuting to and from work, going to West End shows on weekends, and hitting up local music gigs at every opportunity.

It was also over dinner conversations with various friends in my cold and damp Santos apartment on dim winter days.

“Where do you see yourself after Lisbon?”

“I’d love to do a big city like London or San Francisco for a few years in my twenties to really build my career,” I’d respond.

Sure enough, the justification was there all along.

Though some decisions are truly random, the most important ones carry a history. These stories compound into the shape of who we are today. When we finally trace our desires back to their origins, we can move through the world more deliberately and live much more authentic, fulfilling lives.

I invite you to reflect: What is calling you next, and where was that idea first planted? Let your knowing fuel each and every step.